I did it! Did what, you may ask?
I took a real break, a much needed break.
I must admit, it was the hardest thing for me to do-Letting go. Giving up all my cares about leaving my two-year old and entrusting her to others to take care of her, relinquishing all my control and responsibilities, and surrendering all my worries and fears.
On my way to the airport, I was still battling with the nagging feeling of guilt that pricked my heart. Every moment that guilt tried to consume me, my husband’s affirmative words echoed in my mind, ” Just drop everything and go. You need a good break. Everything will be alright.”
The irony was, the moment I boarded the plane, I felt light. I felt weights were lifted off me. I felt free.
And the whole time I was at the church conference in Sydney, I raised my hands in worship to God with total abandonment. I became a child again. I was (momentarily) not a mom, a wife or a daughter. I was simply God’s darling girl.
As I gazed at the tens of thousands in the stadium, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the glory of God’s church. My world had revolved around home and family, but now God awakened my heart to embrace the largeness of His church, and that my home is not a solitary entity, but it is connected to something so much grander.
For a whole week, I didn’t go to bed with a to-do-list. I didn’t have interrupted sleep. I could shower as long as I wanted. I could sit in the Sydney trains and daydream. I could pick up a book and actually finish the first two chapters. I could enjoy the warm sun at Bondi Beach and reminiscence my past days in Sydney. I could hold a cuppa Latte, and take a leisurely walk on the streets, and remembered it used to be just me.
It wasn’t till I came home and hugged my daughter and husband that I realised how much I have been recharged and refreshed. Chores still need to be done, diapers need to be changed, and meals to be cooked. It seemed that circumstances have not changed, but I have. I have been enthused with a bigger purpose and vision even for the seemingly mundane things I do at home. I have gained new meaning to my role as a mother and wife.
How can we expect ourselves to give unceasingly, when we don’t first receive? How can we even walk that extra mile, when we don’t even give ourselves a moment to rest and recharge? How can we expect ourselves to love our family unconditionally when we don’t even think about doing the same for ourselves?
Mommies, go take that break. It may not be an overseas trip. It can just be an afternoon with friends, reading a book at a cafe, or just a stroll in the park.
Remember you are not short-changing your children or family when you do that.
In fact, you take better care of others when you first take care of yourself. You love others so much better when you love yourself first.
Trust me, it is all worth it.
Been there, and will keep doing that!